Sluggo Makes a Go

It is one thing to undertake a life-goal -- we do it all the time with varying degrees of success and yes, failure. However, it is quite an entirely different matter when someone sets a life-goal then naively (or should I say ignorantly?) announces to the world how easy his/her life-goal will be to accomplish.

Ok, before I launch into my tirade, I admit a level of transgression. Yes, I’ve stated that I’d like to attempt a run at Badwater 130; and I’ve also indicated some desire to tackle Ultra Marathon Grand Slam. But I defend my pronouncements as respectful ambitions with guarded optimism about success and open reservations about ever getting to toe the start line, which sadly is yet to be seen. All of this leads me to Sluggo.

Sluggo is the vocal, very obnoxious (borderline offensive) co-worker who publicly announces his decision to undertake a life-goal challenge. In this case, he broadcasts (this is an ongoing effort) his intent to run a marathon. Hey, to his credit such goals are typically admired and even encouraged. Beyond the life-goal part, this guy could stand to loose a few pounds. So why not? Good for him. But what amazes me, and everyone else who knows (or perhaps doesn’t know) anything about running marathons, is Sluggo’s blatant disregard for reality and any iota of humility.

Why is this important? Well it probably isn’t to most people. In fact, most people have enough common sense to write-off Sluggo’s unbridled ambitions as more hot air from an all-too inflated self perception. Heck, he might as well profess his intent to successfully swim the English Channel in January, climb Mt. Everest next May or become the an Olympic gymnast for that matter. What’s to stop him?

In fact, I really shouldn’t doubt his conviction to run a marathon. After all, he did buy a book about it. Nor should I challenge his abilities to achieve some level of his ambitions. Quite frankly, he has a right to his convictions and ambitions, and some may argue that he has an equal right to share his intent with anyone and everyone within ear shot of his being.

But I confess a certain amount of skepticism about Sluggos noble cause given his seasoned girth from years of channel surfing, multiple repeats of twelve ounce curls, and a dietary regimen of pizza and fast food burgers. This does not bode well for his intended marathon debut.

I am torn between a certain amount of pity and embarrassment for the guy, and at the same time, I admit some feelings of horror.

How can a guy so brazenly claim expertise after reading (or maybe only glimpsing though) one book? Does Suggo think that 200 lbs of physique, a new pair of running shoes and an hour or two of casual weekly running translates into actual physical ability? What’s this guy thinking?

The accomplishments of thousand of runners aside, Sluggo’s braggadocios ness is an insult to all those runners who are currently training for their first marathons. I am particularly incensed when I think of a friend of mine (we’ll call him Alberto) who is training for his first marathon to be Chicago this fall.

Alberto is a family man who has been a casual and healthy runner for years; who after some deliberation and research has decided a marathon is something he wants to attempt. He, like most of us, battles through injuries and doubt. He runs through rain, pain sweat and blisters to build the base, experience and expertise in order to start and hopefully finish 26.2 miles in 4:00 hours or so (maybe faster). But we don’t hear about Alberto, he is humble and driven and will let his results speak for themselves. I don’t doubt that they will.

Instead we have to endure Sluggo who camps out on his lard seat and pontificates to everyone he knows about how easy it will be to run his first marathon in 3:00 hours or so. We get to listen to Sluggo indulge in ignorant grandeur about his yet-to-be-seen athletic prowess. And finally, we are privileged to be included in Sluggo’s arduous decision about whether he should run his first marathon in Boston or Honolulu?

Sluggo, is a piece of work. He unwittingly provides a level of entertainment to all of us who know better. And to those he insults, well, I suppose we’ll get over it. First he must start training; then and only then will we see if his lofty goals (and ego) will be tempered. And if by chance Sluggo ever makes to a marathon as a participant (not spectator), then I have but four words to impart as he the gun goes off… bon chance Les Poseur.